Anon :
Anon is from South Africa. She grew up watching her father beat her mother and went on to live in abusive relationships herself, for many years. After finally fighting back against her second husband, she realized she didn’t want the kind of power he had wielded over her. She left him and sought help with substance abuse recovery. Both she and her mother are content to be on their own now, free from abuse.
I never quite understood why my mother stayed, until I stood in her shoes. As a little girl, I always seemed to end up under the table on Thursday nights, crying. Mom would drag me out and say, “you’ll bring bad luck.” On Friday night, the drinking and fighting would happen, and of course I thought it was my fault.
I fell pregnant at 15 years of age. I started using birth control pills after my daughter was born. When my boyfriend found out, he threw them down the toilet and raped me. It didn’t just happen once, but a few times, and I got pregnant again. My marriage ended after 11 years, and I swore not to get involved with an abuser ever again.
My second marriage took place only a couple of months later. At first, it was sheer bliss. Then I started saying things about his drinking habits. On the night of September 11th 2001, I experienced his first violent act. He accused me of having sex with his friend, pushed me down on the bed, and checked my panties. He pushed me into the bathtub.
I must have knocked my head, but the shock made me numb to the pain. It went on and on. He pushed me over the couch and jumped on top of me. And then he pulled me up by my arm and swung me against the wall. I sagged down to the floor and just sat next to
an open door, but I was too scared to get up and run. And I even wondered if it was my fault.
Only a month later, I experienced his second violent act. This time, he added a public dimension by tackling me in front of our gate. I ran inside and he followed me, threw me on the bed, and choked me. Then he hit me in the jaw with his fist. As the pain exploded in my head, my whole world shrunk to a pinprick.
I was ready for his third violent act. He was choking me, and I pulled the drawer from the pedestal and hit him hard. I proceeded to break as many pieces of furniture as I could. When he was down, I felt powerful. But the next morning, I had more clarity and felt I
didn’t want his kind of power. I joined Al-anon soon afterwards and started my road to recovery. I learned that an ability to support myself financially is crucial to my well-being. And that none of his violence was
my fault. Four years later, I’m alone and happy - most of the time. My mom is alone too.
We talk sometimes, about the past and the future.
Anon :
Anon is from South Africa. She grew up watching her father beat her mother and went on to live in abusive relationships herself, for many years. After finally fighting back against her second husband, she realized she didn’t want the kind of power he had wielded over her. She left him and sought help with substance abuse recovery. Both she and her mother are content to be on their own now, free from abuse.
I never quite understood why my mother stayed, until I stood in her shoes. As a little girl, I always seemed to end up under the table on Thursday nights, crying. Mom would drag me out and say, “you’ll bring bad luck.” On Friday night, the drinking and fighting would happen, and of course I thought it was my fault.
I fell pregnant at 15 years of age. I started using birth control pills after my daughter was born. When my boyfriend found out, he threw them down the toilet and raped me. It didn’t just happen once, but a few times, and I got pregnant again. My marriage ended after 11 years, and I swore not to get involved with an abuser ever again.
My second marriage took place only a couple of months later. At first, it was sheer bliss. Then I started saying things about his drinking habits. On the night of September 11th 2001, I experienced his first violent act. He accused me of having sex with his friend, pushed me down on the bed, and checked my panties. He pushed me into the bathtub.
I must have knocked my head, but the shock made me numb to the pain. It went on and on. He pushed me over the couch and jumped on top of me. And then he pulled me up by my arm and swung me against the wall. I sagged down to the floor and just sat next to
an open door, but I was too scared to get up and run. And I even wondered if it was my fault.
Only a month later, I experienced his second violent act. This time, he added a public dimension by tackling me in front of our gate. I ran inside and he followed me, threw me on the bed, and choked me. Then he hit me in the jaw with his fist. As the pain exploded in my head, my whole world shrunk to a pinprick.
I was ready for his third violent act. He was choking me, and I pulled the drawer from the pedestal and hit him hard. I proceeded to break as many pieces of furniture as I could. When he was down, I felt powerful. But the next morning, I had more clarity and felt I
didn’t want his kind of power. I joined Al-anon soon afterwards and started my road to recovery. I learned that an ability to support myself financially is crucial to my well-being. And that none of his violence was
my fault. Four years later, I’m alone and happy - most of the time. My mom is alone too.
We talk sometimes, about the past and the future.
SABELANI GBV Outreach
#We Are Active Everyday
Be the voice for those who have lost theirs
help!
Report all abuse and
break the
silence
Social Development Hot Lines
24 Hour Emergency Line - 0800 428 428
Please Call Me - *120* 7867#
Skype - Helpme GBV (hard of hearing community)
SMS 'help' to 31531 (disabled community)
Report Online : http://gbv.org.za/report-case/
Other useful numbers :
Lifeline - 0861 322 322
AIDS Helpline - 0800 012 322
National Counselling Line - 0861 322 322
Childline South Africa - 0800 055 555
SA Police Service - 10111
Legal Aid - 0800 110 110
SABELANI Music Initiative and GBV Outreach Mission and Objective
Mission
-
Register a minimum of 2 500 Choral Singers from all provinces
-
Protest Peacefully
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March Peacefully
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Be part of the solution not the problem
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Help make a change through example
Objective
-
500 registered singers which will allow us to march in :
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Gauteng - Kwa-Zulu and Eastern Cape
-
350 registered singers which will allow us to march in :
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Other Provinces
After 30 days of registrations and pledges, registered Choral Singers will pledge their support to ALL who have been afflicted by violence and protest against all forms of abuse!
We are an unfunded NPO
Our goals are not only to peacefully march and protest against ALL violence but to Save One Life at a Time
We work closely with Law Enforcement, Childrens and Womens Shelters, Social Development and we partner with a professional Social Worker with many years of experience in the arenas of GBVF and Social Development
Our work with victims
Many victims (or abuser) do not know where to turn in a crisis situation
We assist them to reach the correct resources they need
Their privacy is of utmost important, therefore 1 person in our organisation has direct contact with the victim (or abuser)
We create a safe space for them by ensuring their privacy is never exposed (unless they agree information may be shared)
We ensure they are assisted by Law Enforcement, Shelters and Social Development and keep in touch daily and provide additional support
Their journey to healing is long and encourage them to write their stories as part of their healing process - we have had great success with this
Be part of the solution - Not the problem!
Visit our channel
Too much information is never enough
Amnesty International Human Rights Defenders! https://www.amnesty.org/en/
UNICEF has great resources. Learn more about GBVF!
www.unicef-irc.org/publications/pdf/monee6/chap-5.pdf
LGBTQIA - http://www.lgbthatecrime.eu/
Lesbian - Gay - Bisexual (Pansexual) - Transgender - Queer (Genderqueer) - Intersex - Asexual (Agender)
Those who have chosen an alternative lifestyle are one of the largest groups who are violated at the hands perpetrators who perform heinous human rights violations, hate crimes and sexual crimes on a daily basis.
Gender Based Violence and Femicide - Crimes which fall under GBVF!
psychological violence | stalking | physical violence | forced marriages | sexual violence, including rape |
female genital mutilation | forced abortion and forced sterilisation | sexual harassment | aiding or abetting and attempt |
unacceptable justifications for crimes,including crimes committed in the name of so-called honour
5 Inter-related types of violence
Physical | Verbal including hate speech | Psychological | Sexual |Socio-economic
Abbreviations:
VAWG - Violence Against Women and Girls
LGBTI+ - Violence Against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex
SV - Sexual Violence
IPV - Intimate Partner Violence
DV - Domestic Violence
SV - Structural Violence (indirect)
HBV - Honour Based Violence
Social Worker and Development Consultant
Shirley Raman
https://www.srsocialworkanddevelopment.co.za/